BECAUSE YOU ASKED: "Tony Skratchere Edition"
The second in a short series that expounds upon some Formspring questions to me. [http://www.formspring.me/champsuperstar]
I have answered every single question posed to me on Formspring. Sometimes seriously, mostly jokingly. So, I was surprised when I got this declarative attempting to parade as an interrogative:
"i will take you ignoring my question as a yes. you do have a crush on tony s"
I responded as soon as I saw it. I had not seen a question previously about Tony S (who I automatically assumed was Tony Skratchere and not Tony's pizza or the Tony awards) and I felt a little bit disturbed by it. I answered immediately because I wanted whomever had asked the question to know that Tony Skratchere and I are just friends. Good friends, in fact. Such good friends that I only call him Tony Skratchere in a public forum and even then, only because that's how people recognize him. Otherwise, I would/do just call him by his real name.
I was pretty put off right away, and a little defensive, so my answer was not the one I would have given had I not wanted to clear the air so quickly. So, here's the answer I should have given:
Why, yes. I do, in fact, have a crush on Tony Skratchere. It's a HUGE geek crush. I have them all over the place. I tend to show high levels of interest in people who continually challenge me and a lot of times they come off rather coquettish or flirtatious or even outright salacious. I'm ok with this behavior. I don't get to project it upon too many people. Hell, I have a Twitter list of untouchable people I gush over all the time, but I certainly wouldn't consider those normal I'm-trying-to-lay-you crushes.
I have a crush like I have a crush on a lot of my friends. Girls, guys, whatever. I fawn all over and promote like hell my two best friends in the world, @lizmoney and @sheri_nola. But, I also trip all over @seangunn and @whurley and @jonahevans, with no expectations of how they are going to react. I would hope they would be flattered rather than creeped out. I crush on smarts. I crush on genius. I crush on passionate. I crush on funny and clever and self-effacing. I crush on nerds and geeks and rock stars. I crush on people who are all of those things and, fuck yes, Tony Skratchere happens to be one of those people who is quite sincerely every single one of those things. A person who appreciates any of those qualities would be risking massive self-deprivation to NOT crush on someone like that. I mean, did you even SEE his #webrapgroups hashtag? That alone...crushworthy.
But, I guess getting down to brass tacks, what the submitter wanted to know was that by having this crush was I trying to pursue more by retweeting or pseudo-worshiping whomever the recipient (not just tony s)? Not really. Most likely not. I won't totally say no, because who knows when in the future I'm going to find someone that I do want to worship in a hey-lets-make-out-and-get-married kinda way. I hope I do eventually find someone who has all those Tony Skratchere-esque qualities that I adore so much. I hope I do find someone who is some sort of dynamo combination of him and all the people that I love and adore and crush on so much. Someone to challenge my brain right out of my head. Someone who cracks me up like every 30 seconds. And someone who, when I text him to inquire about the hateration that showed up on my Formspring will respond with "WELL THEN, THEY DON'T GET TO COME TO OUR CATALINA WINE MIXER."
Hellz yes. Viva la Tony Skratchere. And everyone like him.
